Why You Need To Give Yourself Permission To Succeed

What’s the difference between a successful entrepreneur and someone who can barely make ends meet? If you said money, resources or natural talent, you’re only partially correct.

As it turns out, millions of people possess an abundance of talent, education and creativity—the building blocks of success. But they’re held back from seeing their visions materialize, because they don’t believe they’re capable or deserving of success.

You Have To Believe In You First

When people don’t believe in themselves, others don’t believe in them. According to a 2008 study published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, when students graded an individual’s score on an intelligence test, they graded students they believed were in the 36th percentile lower than when they believed the students were in the 93rd percentile.

To stop this toxic cycle, we must look inwards—not outwards—at our own belief system, says Singapore-based business coach and naturopathic physician entrepreneur Sundardas Dharmadas Annamalay.

“When we are stalling in life or not reaching our full potential, it’s often because we’re not giving ourselves permission to succeed,” says Sundardas, who works one-on-one with clients to rewire their negative thought processes. “One of the biggest reasons people don’t succeed is they possess a misplaced sense of loyalty, such as ‘my mother had breast cancer so I too should have breast cancer,’ or ‘my father was poor so I shouldn’t be too successful or I would be disloyal to him.’ However, all of these beliefs are subterranean and not in the conscious awareness—meaning we don’t realize we have them!”

Giving Yourself Permission To Succeed

To help you give yourself permission to succeed, Sundardas offers three suggestions:

1.) Notice your feelings. “Rather then trying to pretend it’s OK when it’s not, the first step is to be aware of what triggers an overly emotional response,” says Sundardas. So when your spouse says, ‘you’re smart, but there’s no way you can publish a book” and that comment upsets you, write down how you feel.

2.) Track your emotions. Every time you feel the same emotional response, stop what you’re doing. Record the trigger in a journal or on your phone. “Being aware of how often this emotional response is triggered can help you identify patterns.”

3.) Dig deep. Get curious about why you respond a certain way. Why can’t you brush off someone’s comment that you aren’t smart or capable? Start digging into the “why” of your response. You may start to recall the pain you felt as a teenager when your school peers would tease you for not being smart enough. So moving forward, stop that thought process by reminding yourself of recent milestones.

“If working through these emotions is too difficult to do alone, the right business coach can help you,” says Sundardas. “Once your realize that it is OK to succeed, and that you don’t have to follow in the footsteps of your parents or peers, you will feel an immense freedom wash over you, which is the start of a more successful future.”

To learn more about Sundardas, visit our Specialist Panel


This is a sponsored post. The views and opinions expressed do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of MindShift.money. Some answers have been edited for length and clarity.

Marisa Torrieri is an award-winning journalist and freelance writer specializing in personal finance, business, healthcare and technology. She has a master’s degree in journalism from Northwestern University and resides in Fairfield, CT. Her work has appeared in dozens of media outlets, including LearnVest, Forbes, The Washington Post, Business Insider, TIME and Health.com.

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