When it comes down to it, most people have an easier time talking with their friends about their sex lives than they do about their financial lives. Why is it so hard to talk about a financial lifestyle change?
My guess from my own experiences and working with clients going through Financially Fit Bootcamp is this has to do with shame. How we spend our money is intensely personal. Talking about how we spend our money leaves us open to the judgment of our friends and family. Many of us hold on to shame over past spending decisions and struggle with admitting that we don’t “have it all together.”
But talking about our money experiences can be very powerful. When I went through FFBC, talking with the other coaches going through the program at the same time was so encouraging. I learned I wasn’t the only one who was struggling. Not the only one who had made unfortunate choices around money in the past. For me, the experience was life changing.
That was the point when I realized talking about our Money Mindshifts ia vital. The world needs to hear the message we have to offer about Financial Freedom. But where do you start?
Explain your why
One of the first major changes I made when working through the FFBC was to separate and automate my finances. For me, that meant opening and using a new checking account at another bank to keep things separate. I hadn’t given it much thought, but one of my friends noticed the new debit card and asked about it. Her question caught me off guard, but I realized there was a great opportunity to talk to my friends about Mindshift.money and my new financial coaching business.
When your friends and family see you changing your spending habits, they too will likely ask questions. This is your moment to have a quick, two or three sentence explanation for your Money Mindshift. In business, we call this an “elevator pitch.” You have 30 seconds or less to explain why your company does what it does. In this case, that company is You, Inc., and you’re answering, “Why have you decided to work toward Financial Freedom?” And, “Why is this so important to you?”
Show, don’t always tell
Often when one person in a group of friends makes a major lifestyle change the others are inspired to do the same. Positive change can be infectious, and that’s a good thing.
But don’t feel like you need to constantly sing the praises of your newfound Financial Freedom (even if you really want to!). We’ve all had that one friend who kept up a never-ending stream of words about their new diet plan or workout regimen. Remember how much you wanted to throw something at them? Don’t be that guy.
People will respond more positively when they see you setting a good example as well as when you share your wins with them. Be honest and share your struggles too. Being human is okay.
Plan for resistance
Not everyone will agree with what you’re doing. Check the comments section of any article ever published on the internet to see that this is true worldwide. What surprises most of my clients is the amount of negativity that comes their way from their closest friends and family.
When someone you love has an extremely negative response to the changes you are making financially, don’t take it personally. Deep down, their issue is not about you. It’s about them. The truth is making any type of lifestyle change has an impact on the people around you. Often, your Mindshift encourages them to take a long look at their own lives. And this is where the animosity starts.
Rather than deal with their own dissatisfaction about their own finances, they lash out at you. Your success forces them to realize their current way of doing things isn’t working. And that can sometimes be a hard pill to swallow.
In this instance, I suggest you learn the magical phrase “Thank you for your concern, but this is what’s working for me.” That usually stops the onslaught of negativity. If the other person continues, politely offer to change the subject or even walk away.
Be kind
It’s important to recognize that not everyone is where you are now. They’re not yet ready to make a change are more comfortable staying where they are instead of moving forward into Financial Freedom. That’s ok. You are not them and do not need to stay stuck.
That person who was critical of your new Money Mindshift a few days ago may well come to you for advice in a few weeks. They see that this is indeed working for you and isn’t just another fad. Share with them why you’re making a change, and then point them to our excellent resources on Mindshift.money. Your kindness in the face of their resistance may just recruit them to your quest to change your Financial Future.
A little help from your friends
Making any major change in your life can feel isolating. But you don’t have to do this alone. Tell a few close friends what you’re up to. Ask them to join you on your Mindshift journey. Even if they say no, they may still offer support and accountability. If you don’t feel comfortable asking a close friend or relative, feel free to reach out to myself or one of my fellow FFBC Coaches. We’ve been right where you are now and can share our strategies and provide ongoing support.
Financial Freedom is within your reach. Don’t be afraid to tell the world about it.
The views and opinions expressed are those of the guest author and do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of MindShift.money.
image credit: Bigstock/JacobLund
Wendy Priester is a former Tax Auditor turned freelance writer and certified Financially Fit Bootcamp Coach. When not working with clients to help them live their best financial life, Wendy can be found exploring the Rocky Mountains of Colorado with her two hyperactive dachshunds.
Wendy, this is a great article and very on point. Thank you. I can say without a doubt that the most liberating aspect of my financial journey has been sharing this with others. My time spent in the Financially Fit Bootcamp showed that I was not alone. Awesome article!!
Larry